Jackie Rose is known for her silly but sexy spoofs, and this time the joke is on her. Like her heroine Rose Garland, she loves writing erotic historical romances in classic settings like the Trojan War, Camelot and Bonnie Prince Charlie’s revolt.
But, just like the imaginary Rose Garland, the real-life Jackie Rose seems to attract the most readers with her sexy satires…most notably, the best-selling series that started with “I’m Undead and I Vote.”
Catering to a growing group of Undead Americans, the President has decreed that everyone must have a chance to benefit from his Eternal Care Act…more commonly known as “Draculacare.” It seems like a great idea….until it becomes all too clear that it is driving the vampires batty, with mortals becoming all too eager for their dark kisses (not to mention other intimate acts as well). Thus continues the silly but sexy best-selling series that started with I’m Undead and I Vote.
Having lured a president into her bed in the Fictionwise humor-best seller “I’m Undead and I Vote,” Tiffany Golden will now be lured in turn to a vampire master’s castle. (Except that she insists on saying he invited her there, because “lured” is such a stereotype). There, she will find a vegetarian were-Maltese and her alpha werewolf mate, a vampire bride determined to become a licensed Realtor and, oh yes, the prospect of lasting love.
Having spent the last weeks of her life trying to put a sexy senator into the White House, she redoubles her efforts afterwards. In such a close election, she knows that even a small downtrodden minority can make all the difference—and what minority is trodden down further than her fellow undead (by about six feet, usually). Soon she has an issue she can really sink her teeth into—namely, leading the (pardon the expression!) crusade to organize this much-despised demographic into a powerful voting bloc. And along the way, she meets with the battiest bunch of vampires, vampire slayers and vote seekers this side of Terry Pratchett.
--George Zagorsky, her vampire sire, who asks himself, in almost every crisis, "What would Bela Lugosi do?"
--Tim Johnson, a male model, who finds new career opportunities in posing for the covers of erotic romantic vampire novels—with the strict understanding that he can only work at night
--a crazy crew of self-chosen Vampire Slayers, hastily formed from the disaffected faction of the Jefferson Davis High School PTA
--and, as always, in any presidential election year, the TV pundits, who are eager to tell the public how much the Vampire Vote will really count.
--But above all, there is Tiffany’s hero, the presidential candidate, Felix O’Neill. He rewards her efforts by inviting her into his bed—where they really do make things go bump in the night.
Formerly the fourth bride of a Romanian vampire master, Crina Vyrdelek has come to Northern Virginia where she has become the leading saleslady at 21st Century Golden Real Estate. Now she is trying hard to please all kinds of crazy clients…including a BDSM dominatrix who is dead set against animal cruelty…but even more determined to lure Crina into her own lifestyle. Crina’s own tastes run more to the rugged were-Leading-Eye-Dog whom she hired to protect her. Can he defend her from the threat of betrayal by bitterly jealous business rivals, a frustrated consensual slave girl and even her own former master’s newest bride? And what will she do if he proves to be guilty of the cruelest betrayal of all? Above all, can a vampire and a werewolf join together for lots of hot sex and home sales?
“Ravished by Ragnar”—“Enslaved by Eric”—Karl Gustavsen is tired of seeing erotic romance writers turn his ancestors into these steamy sex fantasies. So he starts the Viking Anti-Defamation League to sue the author, Rose Jacobson, along with her publisher, Orgazm Books. But his favorite Viking relic might prove that everything she says is true. Every time he touches it, she is pretty sure to wind up getting—well—carried away.
When author Rose Garland summons the Muse from Mount Olympus to inspire her in writing an erotic historical romance, she expects to see a sweet lady in a flowing gown appear. Instead, she finds herself facing a sleazy but sexy hustler who compels her to write BDSM, menage a trois and Master-slave fiction instead, thus fulfilling her own wildest fantasies.
Things get even wilder when Mr. Muse forces her to act out his scenes with him and his handsome apprentice, who boasts a very broad chest covered with equally vulgar t-shirts. But when a wealthy publisher offers to print her sweet historical romance instead…and the nice Muse of History pops up at a city council meeting in order to help her…while her sister Muse of Comedy won’t stop laughing at her own awful jokes…then what’s a girl to do, especially when she realizes that she enjoys it all?
That batty bunch you first met in “I’m Undead and I Vote” is back...both sillier and sexier than ever. This time, Count Dracula himself is on the prowl…determined to finish the holiday fun and put the Hell back in Halloween. But first, he must face a two feuding TV talk show hosts…his nagging mother…and, oh yes, his growing passion for a history teacher who knows his sad true story. Along the way, he’ll find lots of the other crazy creatures you have met in this best-selling series. They include the first undead activist…her friend the fierce were-Maltese…and the country’s be-witching First Lady.
Well, all right, so they are all really residents of a senior living center, sharing their sexy fantasy via the Internet…until the Golden One’s conservative children catch her writing her purple prose. Now the three laptop lovers have only one chance to keep their dream alive…a civil rights attorney named Zipporah Stuart. Can she stop the director from taking their computers away? Or will those two wind up starting some cyber hanky panky of their own, in this sexy, spoofy sequel to “I’m a Viking and I Protest".