The ABCs of BDSM is labeled fiction but is actually an excellent reference guide if you are wanting to learn about BDSM or are already in it and want to learn more. It is written in three sections.
The first is lots of terms, play activities, and information listed in alphabetical order. Each item is described and discussed. Some things are fairly simple like who is a dominant. Other items that you would think would be fairly self explanatory like a slave has some excellent add-ons like slavery is illegal and while someone can turn over themselves into a voluntary servant, they can also remove themselves.
However, it’s the play terms that are absolutely outstanding. Not only do you get what the term refers to but so much more. What are the risk factors? What kind of safety issues should be addressed? What should players be asking? What items should you have to do this type of play? And, in some cases instructions on how to do the play or instructions that you should only attempt after one on one training.
The second section is fairly short and goes over some basic terms that most people that are interested in BDSM either already know or think they know. SSC is very well known as Safe, Sane and Consensual. Not as well known but definitely very common is RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink. A newer term and one that is considered to give equal responsibility to both players is PRICK, Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink. Other terms are discussed and explained.
The final section of this book is an interview with the author, Dama deNoche. Dama has been in the lifestyle since the 70’s. She is also a nurse. Her interview was very informative and interesting.
One of the things that is stressed throughout all sections of this book is those that play should at the very least be CPR trained. Some of the activities that are practiced can be lethal. It’s that edge that makes them so attractive to some people.
I absolutely loved this book and I have to highly recommend it to anyone who wants more information on BDSM. It would also make a great reference book. I did not find it dry or boring and I read it page by page. I learned some things including that Dama started a conference in the Hampton Roads, VA area.
Don’t let the fact that this book isn’t a “story” stop you from buying it. It’s a great book!
Have you ever looked at a crop and wondered what you could do with it that did not involve a horse? How about rope; what do you do with beautiful, soft rope or rope that is rough and tough? When your partner tells you "hurt me", do you get turned on? This book gives you a place to start answering those questions and others.
This book is not a be all and end all of how to do things. Instead, it is meant to give you an idea of where you can start and what you need to get started. How to make things a bit safer, as what we do can be--and usually is--dangerous. The danger is what turns many of us on: the ability to tiptoe on that edge of sanity and danger without causing harm is erotic and just fun. This book gives you a place to start so that you know what questions to ask.
This will also give you the understanding that you are not alone in your desire for what you need. You are not sick, just different. Your drummer is now our drummer and we march in the same basic direction.
Welcome to the kinky universe we have been living in for a while. Explore safely and enjoy.