Because I'm Disposable

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Because I'm Disposable

This was a very strong story and hit me hard. It brought back a lot of stuff and memories from me. I too know what it’s like when someone you trust betrays you. I too learned never to cry and if I did, I did it in the shower where none heard or saw me. I too was a cutter and it’s hard. When you're a kid dealing with a lot of things it’s to know who to trust and what to say. If you tell this person something will it come back to bite you in the ass? Will CPS come to your door and take you away from your mother? Your younger sister? And if that happens, who will protect them? It makes your head spin and you just need a release.

Callie is a very strong person and I’m glad that she survived. Readers are in for an emotion packed read where Callie goes through a lot in her short life. It’s a 5 star read for me.

Our heroine has the real name of Callista, but she goes by Callie and Cal to her family and close friends. She is dealing with the fact that her father, her abuser is dead. Not only that but he died on the same night she tried to kill herself. Even though he’s gone, he’s not. She still has nightmares about him, still reacts when people touch her without warning.

Callie has a younger sister Corrine who goes by Corri and Cor to her family. Callie has always protected Corri. They share a room and Cal made sure that she got most if not all the beatings and punishments when her dad was alive. Now that he’s gone she’s kind of broken out of her shell. She turns her new life in a destructive direction. She gets kicked off the basketball team for breaking one of her team member’s nose after she badgered her all through practice and threw the ball at her stomach while walking to the locker room. She ends up cutting her hair, changing her clothes style, cutting and skipping school classes, stealing money out of her shy mother’s sock drawer, cutting, experimenting with weed and cigarettes, going parties and almost getting raped (she pretended like she was going to throw up and waited for him to leave the bathroom before closing the door and locking it in his face), drinking Grey Goose and dating Link…the boy across the street. She also finds out a secret from her mother that just might end it all and push her over the edge again or it might just save her.

Lincoln goes by Link and has always liked Cal. He’s excited when she finally notices him after all the years. After finding out about the abuse he has become protective of her. He invited her to his birthday party and introduced her to his family, then picked her up in the car he got from his uncle and took her to school. After a date to the movies he proceeds to tell Cal that he doesn't just want to have sex with her, he wants to court her. He also feels the need to warn her about her new friends, he’s worried that she'll get hurt. When she texts him to come get her from a party he rushes over there and has to stop himself from hurting Jason. He was going to take her to the police station to report it but took her home instead when she begged him to. Things get a little hot and heavy and when he stops she kicks him out. From there things spiral out of control.

Link has to make Callie see that not only is she a survivor but that she’s not a victim anymore.

Book Blurb for Because I'm Disposable

Sixteen-year-old Callista Tanner was in the bathroom slitting her wrists the night her father took a fatal plunge down the stairs. People around her think she attempted suicide because she found him dead -- or worse, because she had a guilty conscience. Few know the truth; Michael Tanner had been beating her for years.

The freedom that should have come with her father's death becomes a cage of rumors and self-doubt. Callie seeks escape in the most destructive ways, bringing her emotional scars to the surface for the world to see.

One bright spot exists in Callie's dark world.

Lincoln Devaux refuses to let Callie sink fully into the depths of her own depression, stepping into her life when she needs someone the most. She tries to push him away, but Link is determined to save Callie from herself. Even when she doesn't think she's worth saving

Night Owl Reviews Jun, 2014 5.00