I work with terminally ill people and sometimes when I walk into a house the grief is so thick that you can literally feel it. The air is heavy with it. That's what reading this book felt like. When I leave those homes I struggle to push the grief off of myself. That's what it felt like when I was finished with this book.
I'm struggling with what else to say. I know the author recommends people go into it without reading reviews etc so I'm going to keep this short (& spoiler free). This book is told from David's point of view as he tries to find his way out of the grief and loss he's experiencing. You find out in pieces what has brought David to the place he is at in the beginning of the story. And....your heart will break for him.
This is a hard book to rate. I'm giving it 5 stars because I think the writing was fantastic and deserves it. If I based it on enjoyment of the book......I don't know. This was a very hard read for me. David's grief is so heavy I felt like I was drowning in it too. The reason for his grief was super hard for me to read. His grief was based on my own worst nightmare. I cried in places and twice I had to stop reading and take a break before I could get back to it.
The one thing I want to stress is this is not a romance. It is a love story though. A story about how true love can find it's way even in the darkest days. There was a lot of beauty in this story but also a lot of pain. Be ready for a heavy read.
It begins with a message that David cannot ignore:
I want to see you.
He agrees, and on a cold winter’s night, David and Phillip will come together to sift through the wreckage of the memory of a life no longer lived.
David is burdened, carrying with him the heavy guilt of the past six years upon his shoulders.
Phillip offers redemption.