Angry At What I See - A Piece Of My Mind
Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.--Will Smith
It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.--Confucius
Lately, there has been aggressive behavior on line . . . bullying on the pages of Facebook, Goodreads, and Amazon as well as other sites. It hasn’t been young homosexuals or teen bullying by other teens. It’s worse than that. It is adults annoying and harassing adult writers of erotica . . . both male and female. It isn't about gay marriage. It is about a writer's right to write what they want and the freedom to do it.
Someone may say to me “You’re a critic, what do you know about adult fiction or erotica?” Well, I have written an erotic work of fiction (Last Wish) in the book collection Faggots. This story was an M/M romance. It does not make me gay, it just makes me a writer who has written in the genre. I also review erotic books. So now, you can say I have some street cred in talking about the subject.
I can understand someone giving a book or a novella a bad review. I am guilty . . . I have done that many times myself. However when I do say something is bad, I tend to give a reason why. I assume you need not get it. It is not picking on an author’s life or lifestyle.
What annoys me is someone personally attacking another human being because they write a fiction genre they don’t like nor do they respect. Many of these writers are female. Most of these authors are married with families. They have productive lives out of writing erotica. They pay their bills like we all do. However some men (and a few women) assume that since a person writes a book with erotic content that it’s is okay to stalk, annoy, harass, and belittle these authors in public and private.
There is a different between gentle kidding around and true harassment. I told an erotic author on Facebook that she was a BITCH (my term meaning a Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming Honest lady). She said “Bennet that is the nicest thing anyone said to me”. She knew I was joking around. It was said Tongue in Cheek...There was NO hate involved. It was just two friends kidding around. How many people thought there was HATE involved, TOO MANY!
Most of these people are not using a witticism like I did. They seem to prey upon these women (and some men). If they cannot get them by trashing their book in a review or their private life in a public site, they do it with a campaign of hate and ignorance on Facebook, My Space and Goodreads. In my opinion, this isn’t right. Someone needs to shine a light of them.
An author friend of mine said “It makes me wonder. Why do people have to say nasty things about each other on Facebook and elsewhere?”
Another writer friend said this, “I've always kept this quote close to heart: ‘Your opinion of me is none of my business.’ People who understand you are the ones to keep in your life and those that don't, don't know what they are missing!”
What I think is that most of these people who hate and unfriend people are close minded, narrow headed clods that either assume erotica is beneath them and their social status or are beer swilling (I know I am stereotyping very badly here) jackasses who go by the name Bubba. (I did say I was stereo typing–NO HATE MAIL PLEASE). Jeff Foxworthy is right. They might be a REDNECK. So with misunderstanding, they make judgments and putdowns that they are unsure of and/or are stupid. They point fingers for they do not know better. We also know many of these stalkers must have Hustler, Playboy, or some girlie magazines or some erotic literature under their bed, because their girlfriend or wife had a headache last night (I know BAD STEREOTYPING, but you get the point).
I really do not know what we have to do. Nevertheless, I do not want there to be a stalker’s list. For the moment we do that, someone will take someone else’s words or emails out of context or get their feeling hurt . . . then there is a mass riot because someone has a difference of opinion.
On a personal note, I’ve been a jerk before...we all have been in some way or another on line. Some people block you when they don’t understand you, instead of trying to open a dialog. Emails, Twitter and online posts don’t have emotion content as a real person on
Skype, phone or in person do. In this modern online age, a second chance is a rare event. I always remember the Joan Rivers’ quote, it seems to fit here, “Always keep your enemy’s list in pencil. The person who is your enemy today may be your boss the next day.”
However, you cannot turn a blind eye to the man who messages someone with a line “Want to see naked pictures of me?” or “You are such a (Insert nasty word here), want to cam and play on line?” or “Want to meet somewhere and screw?” or other winning pieces of crap that these stupid ones want to spew out on a Facebook wall or an email. Also a simple ideal can be misconducted as online abuse and that person may be blocked because someone else jumped to conclusions. It is a double edged sword.
There are no easy answers to why someone does do what they do. Just more questions to ponder and to mull over. I would be remiss if I did not mention this old adage I was told when I was a child “Why Can’t we all get along?!
Reach for the Stars
Columnist: Bennet Pomerantz has covered the Audio medium for the last 20 years. He has syndicated newspaper columns, AUDIOWORLD and "Movies of Your Mind", in Affaire De Coeur Magazine. In which he showcase his vast and diverse knowledge of the spoken word medium.
He is also known as a media review critic (books, music, graphic novels, DVDs, CDs) in his weekly syndicated newspaper column "A Piece of the Page". He also is a ranked media reviewer for Amazon.com. http://www.facebook.com/bennet.pomerantz1 / E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org