Foul-mouthed Mr. Darcy
I’m very happy to be guest blogging at Night Owl Romance and thank you, Tammie for inviting me back. This time I’m promoting my new book My Darcy Mutates…which is a collection of 14 Pride and Prejudice-inspired steamy short stories.
When you read your favourite books, will your mind spin with a lot of “what-if” and cross-over scenarios about the characters? That’s what happened to me when I read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.
Here is an excerpt from the book, a cross-over of Pride and Prejudice and Kitchen Nightmare. Be warned, the excerpt and the book are for adult only!
“Where the bloody hell are you, Darcy?”
Elizabeth’s voice startled him from his reflection. Darcy was about to reply when the pantry door was pushed open with such a force that the hinges nearly flew apart. He was confronted with the sizzling hot vision of the pocket-sized dessert goddess wearing a red, silky halter top and tight white jeans. No wonder her chocolate sells so well. I wouldn’t mind visiting her shop every day if she wears clothes like this while serving me.
Darcy calmed his thoughts and spoke politely. “What can I do for you?”
Elizabeth walked a step closer to him, her hands on her hips. It was a most distracting sight for Darcy. As he was still sitting, his eyes were almost on the same level as her cleavage. And what cleavage! She was furious and breathing so hard that Darcy couldn’t help hoping the seam of her top would burst.
“What can you do for me? Can’t you wash your mouth out and rewrite your script for Charles a little bit more politely? Did you know that you had him saying ‘Fuck you!’ over 40 times in that script? Jane has a delicate heart, and she can’t take all this foul language and yelling.”
Lord, I’d love to fuck you too, again and again! Darcy thought. He was exhausted. He hadn’t been able to sleep well for months now, due to the erotic dreams he was having about this woman. On top of that, the shooting hadn’t been going smoothly, as Charles was too damn distracted by his angel. And now this woman was thrusting her breasts in front of him, invading his space with her sexy scent. He wanted to pull her onto his body and stop her yelling with violent kisses.
But he chose not to do that…yet. The pantry was not the right place. Instead he replied politely again. “It’s the truth. You want us here to rescue Longbourn, and we need Jane to act like a boss. Otherwise, there will be no Longbourn Restaurant any more.”
“Can’t you make the pill a bit sweeter to swallow? Do you have to ask Charles to swear every three minutes?”
“But that kind of television sells. I bet the footage with Jane in tears and Charles comforting her will shoot the ratings rocket-high.”
Well, what do you think about the pantry encounter between a modern day Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet? Speculate on what will happen next by commenting below, and you get a chance to win an ebook of My Darcy Mutates… and a lovely bookmark from Korea I bought during a recent hiking trip there. You’ve to register for Night Owl Romance’s newsletter to enter and leave the first part of your email address on the post. The contest will close on 30 October 2010 and is open to readers worldwide.
You can visit Enid’s website http://www.steamydarcy.com for sales information about My Darcy Mutates…