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From New York Times bestselling author and acclaimed “Scary Mommy” blogger Jill Smokler comes a funny and practical guide filled with essays, recipes, and tried-and-true tips sure to get any parent through the holiday season—without losing your marbles.
Ah, the holidays: a time of joy, celebration, serenity, and peace…
Unless, of course, you have whiny, screaming children demanding presents, attention, and a personal appearance by Santa or Judah the Maccabee. Then you’re screwed.
But wait, there’s hope: Scary Mommy Guide to Surviving the Holidays to the rescue!
Yes, in this handy holiday guide, you’ll find everything you need to survive the fall/winter rush of cheer in style, and without having a mental breakdown. From relatable, hilarious essays on everything from the Santa myth to being seated at the dreaded kids’ table, to easy-to-follow recipes that might include just a little something special to take the edge off (can anyone say Kahlua?), to fun and accessible gift ideas, this book is your ticket to peace of mind—and a laugh—during the busy, crazy holiday season!
Newly pregnant and scared out of her mind, Jill Smokler lay on her gynecologist’s examination table and was told the biggest lie she’d ever heard in her life: “Motherhood is the most natural thing in the world.” Instead of quelling her nerves like that well-intentioned nurse hoped, Jill was instead set up for a future of questioning exactly what DNA strand she was missing that made the whole motherhood experience feel less than natural to her. Wonderful? Yes. Miraculous? Of course. Worthwhile? Without a doubt. But natural? Not so much.
Motherhood IS HEARING THE WORD “WHY” AT LEAST A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY AND, MOST OF THE TIME, NOT HAVING AN ANSWER.
Jill Smokler’s first memoir, the New York Times bestseller Confessions of a Scary Mommy, rocketed to national fame with its down-and-dirty details about life with her three precious bundles of joy.
Motherhood IS USING YOUR SLEEVES TO WIPE RUNNY NOSES AND YOUR SPIT TO CLEAN DIRTY FACES.
Now Jill returns with all-new essays debunking more than twenty pervasive myths about motherhood. She gives you what few others will dare: the truth.
Motherhood IS NEVER PEEING OR SHOWERING IN PEACE.
This is not a parenting manual or how-to guide (there are plenty of those out there and you’ve probably read more than your share). Think of it instead as a coping resource.
Motherhood IS ALWAYS FEELING MILDLY SICK BUT NEVER BEING ABLE TO WALLOW IN YOUR OWN MISERY.
If you’ve ever wondered why nobody bothered to tell you what having kids is really like, or felt like you were in (six feet) over your head, this book will show you that you’re far from being alone. You’re not the only mother who’s wanted to spend Mother’s Day as far away from her children as possible, and you aren’t the only one with a frenemy who happens to be nine years old.
Join Jill and her army of Scary Mommies united by a deep love for their children, an understanding that motherhood isn’t always easy, and a mission to survive in one piece.