JAMIE BRAZIL lives in the Pacific Northwest with a Bloodhound. In another life, under a different name, Jamie has published nonfiction, dispatched emergency services and coordinated documentary television productions. The dispatching gig turned out to be great training for the round-the-clock crises when working with film crews.
Some writers STILL deserve to starve. Updated and revised, the popular Some Writers Deserve to Starve! 31 Brutal Truths About the Publishing Industry is back for round two of humorous advice for writers just getting started, and hilarious cautionary tales for those contemplating risky (and risque) career moves. Just because publishing's digital doors have been blown wide open doesn't guarantee you instant mega-bestseller success, or even readers for that matter. But armed with the insider information of the 31 Brutal Truths you'll quickly become a savvy pro when it comes to navigating the journey of getting published whether it's traditionally or independently.
Mari Kato, 16, wants what everyone else her age wants: a driver's license. Too bad a family curse, passed on by her Japanese-born Buddhist dad, who claims to be thousands of years old, transforms Mari into a flesh-eating Oni demon when she feels frustrated (like every time she gets behind the wheel). But when her geologist mom moves their vegan-lifestyle-obsessed family to Rock Creek, Mari stumbles upon the gates of Hell and a mining company plundering its depths. Add in an evil cheerleader determined to steal Mari's first boyfriend and plunge the Earth into eternal darkness. Suddenly getting the keys to the car isn't as important as saving the world. Totally dealable... if she can find the courage to reveal her demon self.
So what if Toby Turtletaub is smart? His family is cursed. No Turtletaub has ever kept a job, or lived in a town, for more than a few weeks. By the time his dad moves the family to Burdock Falls, Toby can’t even remember the last ten schools he attended, but he can name all 118 atomic elements and their properties. So when he’s declared a science god by the entire school, it’s the first time in his life Toby hasn’t felt like a loser. Too bad by the time he returns home from school, his dad has already lost his job.
But Toby doesn’t want to move. Ever. Luckily, the know-it-all girl next door, Riley Cobb has an answer. Using Toby’s vast knowledge of science, Riley’s Electronic Pocket Encyclopedia, and piece of a black hole purchased online, they build a lunch box time machine to zap them centuries into the past where they can change the history of the Turtletaub family – or at least grab a fortune in pirate treasure. Unfortunately, the treasure they discover comes with a bloodthirsty Captain Kidd. And he’s a buccaneer with a bad case of gas who is determined to follow them home.
Fifteen-year-old Jennifer Perry dreams of traveling the world, a dream that will never happen now that she's promised to a man twice her age. But what can she do? Run away. To Japan, where her survival is uncertain. Learning the ways of her new world, and the code of the Samurai, she uncovers a plot to ambush the American sailors. Now she must risk her own life in order to save her Commodore father.
From long haul drivers to plumbers, matchmaker Elyse Tobin refurbishes and retrains men then sells them off as husbands to wealthy San Francisco socialites.
Womanizing lothario Nick Salvatore is a millionaire restaurateur with looks, charm and wit. He’s the man Elyse models all her fixer-uppers after…the man who seduced her three years ago…and the one man in San Francisco she wants nothing to do with, despite his ongoing efforts to woo her.
But when Elyse’s latest groom goes south, the IRS audits her, and her home is about to be foreclosed, she discovers the one man she can count on is the one she’s spent years avoiding.