j.a. kazimer is a writer living in Denver, CO. Books include The Junkie Tales (2010), The Body Dwellers (2011), CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale (2012), Holy Socks & Dirtier Demons (2012), and Dope Sick: A Love Story (Forthcoming from Snubnose Press, January 2013).
The next book in the F***ed Up Fairy Tale series, FROGGY-STYLE, is forthcoming from Kensington in March 2013.
When j.a. kazimer isn't looking for the perfect place to hide the bodies, she spends her time surrounded by cats with attitude and a little pug puppy named 'Killer'. Other hobbies include murdering houseplants, kayaking, snowboarding, reading and theater. After years of slacking, j.a. received a master's degree in forensic psychology in 2007, mostly to fill a 8 x 10 blank spaces on her wall.
In addition to studying the criminal mind, she spent a few years spilling drinks on people as a bartender and then wasted another few years stalking people while working as a private investigator in the Denver area.
Cheaters, drunks, deadbeats and family hold a special place in j.a.'s heart, as well as a few pages in her novels.
Part of the hot trend of revamped fairytales--from the films Mirror, Mirror and Snow White and the Huntsman to hit TV shows Once Upon a Time and Grimm--J.A. Kazimer's second raucous and irreverent book in the F***ed-Up Fairytale series puts a new spin on a French-kissing frog looking for his princess!
Less than two weeks before he turns thirty, Jean-Michel La Grenouille--the Frog Prince--must find his One. Only by marrying the girl who originally turned him human can he keep from turning back into a frog. When Jean-Michel is introduced to Beauty, a beautiful blonde with a sleeping disorder, he's convinced she's the One and proposes.
But after a drunken night out in Cin City, Jean-Michel discovers that there's a hit out on Beauty. If she's killed before they get married, he'll return to his lilypad forever. He sets out to find the assassin and stop him--but it seems Beauty isn't too keen on getting married either. And to make things worse, a sexy tattoo artist has Jean-Michel's heart hopping...
Orphaned after a freak manger explosion, the Messiah and his guardian angel arrive on the doorstep of Jace Miller, a disgruntled former soldier and playboy who reluctantly agrees to protect the Son of God from the forces of evil brewing beneath the city. When the Baby Jesus is kidnapped, Jace enlists a private investigating succubus to aid in his hero quest. Faced with Hindu demons, exploding monsters, a terse warning from God, and an ever-growing desire for the deadly succubus, Jace learns just how mysterious the Almighty can be as he searches Heaven, Hell, and Newark for the Second Coming.
Definitely not for baby's bedtime reading, this hilarious and irreverent take on classic fairytales--think Shrek for grownups--combines humor, mystery, and characters only a fairy godmother could love...
When Cinderella is run over by a New Never City bus, her not-so-ugly stepsister, Asia, suspects murder. So she hires RJ, a private eye, to investigate. Little does she know RJ is actually a villain on mental health leave from the Villain's Union. Cursed with an inability to say no to damsels in distress, RJ travels to the Kingdom of Maldetto, meets the rest of Cinderella's family--including her fiancé, the flamboyant Prince Charming, Cinderella's crazy stepmother, and a seriously twisted version of Hansel and Gretel--and dodges bullets, explosions, fires, and his own ex-wife to slip his own version of glass handcuffs on the wrists that fit. All while falling for Asia, who has a curse of her own to deal with...
Fabulous, frolicsome, and delightfully F***ed-Up, Kazimer's debut is a thoroughly fun read. - Nicole Peeler, author of the True Jane Series.
Forget everything you know about Cinderella and her sisters. J.A. Kazimer sets the record straight with wit, humor and a hell of an imagination! - Jeanne C. Stein, National Bestselling Author of The Anna Strong Vampire Chronicles
"More than f*cked up. Demented. Hilarious. Kazimer is going to warp a lot of minds and they're going to thank her." - Mario Acevedo, author of Werewolf Smackdown?