Douggie Barker was born at a very young age in a little town just outside of Wedlock, which is nestled in the beautiful countryside of the southern part of the United Kingdom. His parents were ordinary, working-class people, but Douggie managed to secure himself a place in one of the elite grammar schools of the time. It was there that he developed his first taste for writing. On at least six occasions, he had to stay after school and write out five hundred times, “I must not talk in class”! Slowly, his vocabulary and use of grammar improved until, at the age of seventeen, he was able to write down a whole original sentence without any help. I guess it's been downhill ever since. It's a miracle this book ever got published at all! Catch Mumps at the Boot Sale is Douggie's first masterpiece. It is a work of fiction based on umpteen facts. Douggie has dined out many times on some of the more humorous anecdotes contained within these pages. Now retired, he lives with his fourth wife, Pamela Helen. Sadly, his first three wives died of mushroom poisoning. Fortunately, Pamela doesn't like mushrooms! To his knowledge, he has only one daughter, Beth, and also one stepson, Robert. His credentials are as follows: * one Boy Scout fire-lighting badge * one Boy Scout bedmaking badge * five gold certificates for the egg-and-spoon race (infants' division). I have it on good authority that Douggie used to glue the egg to the spoon! Ten per cent of all royalties from the sale of this book will go to the Mumps Benevolence Fund, so please buy a few copies!
I wonder how many times you've said to yourself, “If only I could live my life again”? Well, if you're anything like me, then you've asked this hundreds of times. But we can't live our lives over. It's as plain and simple as that! We should all remember the best moments of our past life and enjoy the moment we are living in right now. This little book has its roots in life – the real life of me and my little dog, Mumps. Set against the backdrop of many weekends spent beavering away at the national pastime of car booting, Catch Mumps at the Boot Sale is full of anecdotes, suspense, and tragedy. A good dose of humour is thrown in for good measure. Life is humorous. If only we could see the funny side of things, no matter how bad it gets. Any doctor will tell you that laughter is one of the best medicines he or she can prescribe, so why not grab yourself a dose by dipping into this little novel? Not laughing is for your wife when you ask her if you can borrow her lipstick because your girlfriend has smudged hers on your best white collar! This novel is not one of those books where you have to plough through pages and pages of description to get to the point. The chapters in this book are succinct, single doses. They are to be injected straight into your funny bone whenever you need a dose. Enjoy!