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A couple of odd organizations involving the elderly residents of High Towers in T-Ville are plotting to hoard…something, and store it…somewhere. They think their activities in this regard may be illegal, but necessary.
Someone falls down an elevator shaft at the towers and dies. Accidentally? Or on purpose? The Bright Lights and Cataract Club and the Presbyopians of America are not necessarily all they seem to be. (And they can't necessarily see all they mean to be.)
To get the other residents of T-Ville out of town and out of the way the day the "product" is delivered, word goes out about the 75th Annual Flounder Flats Festival being held that day. Most residents attend, even though they've never heard of this festival before. Most are unaware of severe weather headed their way, or that the festival is in a swamp. Swamps are bad places for festivals and parking lots. Things tend to sink.
For no good reason, everyone starts to worry about being gobbled up by a ravenous space creature. Uncle Bert insists repeatedly that there is NO space creature in the story, but as often happens, the characters in the story may know more than the narrator.
Breaking the fourth wall once again, it's a Strange Uncle Bert story that will be sure to keep you laughing!
Long-time residents of T-Ville, Mrs. Plaid and Old Mr. P, are dismayed to see that their obituaries are published prematurely (and with little regard for facts) in the local newspaper. They decide to "lay low," though, in case someone is trying to do them in.
Before heading out of town, Mrs. Plaid handwrites a memo to her office staff, which accidentally gets transmitted all over the world. Due to her atrocious handwriting, everyone interprets the memo differently, causing problems.
Meanwhile, a devious person (or group) makes replicas of the famous Large Hadron Collider and conducts their own "Big Bang" experiments in the U.S., but without safety precautions, causing random black holes to appear and disappear, along with the hapless people who get sucked into them. One such hapless person is the only person, other than Mrs. Plaid, who can read Mrs. Plaid's handwriting and might be able to clear some things up.
Old Mr. P and Mrs. Plaid are tried together for each other's murder in a combined trial that has everyone confused.
A hilarious short story from the author of OUT OF ORDER MURDER MYSTERY.
Take everything you've ever known about mysteries, and get ready to toss it out the window. Preferably at the neighbor who stole your newspaper this morning. Go on. We'll wait here.
This story is a spoof of murder mysteries and courtroom dramas, with a bit of science fiction thrown in. It is told, well, out of order. Hence the title. Because of that, the victim finds out ahead of time that he may be murdered and has a chance to take evasive action. Naturally, things don't go well.
Many of the characters come to realize they are not in real life, but have been caught up in "a stupid Uncle Bert story." Yet, they know the only way out is to proceed through the story to the end. Action alternates back and forth between courtroom drama and events happening outside the courtroom. And some actions even happen before other actions start. Or end. Or, in the middle of other actions.
Who will live, who will die and who will escape having to end up in another one of Bert's stories? Will anyone actually get to go on vacation? Whodunit?
A laugh-out-loud, madcap short story.